SMALL TALK: Debates? I’ll Wait!

SMALL TALK

with Big Bill Small

Tomorrow night marks the official kickoff of the 2020 Presidential campaign with the first Democratic candidate debate in Miami.

Ten candidates on the stage tomorrow night, 10 more on Thursday. And for the life of me, I can’t think of a thing that I’m less interested in watching tomorrow night and Thursday night than a bunch of presidential candidates jockeying to get noticed in a crowd. The only way such an event could even be marginally interesting is if one of the Gang of 20 – or more than one, most likely – commits a campaign-ending blunder, such as admitting to having an undocumented immigrant on the household staff or, in the extreme, a hobo graveyard in the basement.

But those things rarely happen with half the population of Wever, Iowa, on the stage at one time. In a two hour debate, making sure each candidate gets an equitable amount of time to talk, figure on each candidate getting about 73 seconds to say anything worth listening to.

So I’m not interested. As long as I have a Netflix or Prime Video account, I know I can find something more compelling to watch tomorrow and Thursday.

Besides, it’s early. The nominating conventions are more than a year away. And this is Iowa. The Caucuses are a bit more than 7 months away. As the summer progresses into the fall and winter, you just know that before too long you won’t be able to swing a dead cat without striking a Democratic candidate for President. You’ll be stepping over them, huddled on the sidewalk, just so you can get into the cafe for your morning cup of coffee.

So, please. For the time being? Spare me with the cluster debating. Once they whittle the field down to an even dozen or so – a baker’s dozen will do since I like donuts so much – then and only then do I intend to start paying attention.

But for now, I have better ways to waste my time and the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel on Prime Video ain’t watching itself.

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